It has been a while since I've written here! but im back!! soooo let see what happened. Since the time that I have been away I have made MAJOR improvements in my derby career. Ive lost 16lbs, my lap time has gone down, and my enduarance is WAY better!!!! I think I just had reached my point of being comfortable with the "plateau phase". I wanted to be better. Better blocker, better teammate, just an overall better athlete. Words that I never thought I would hear myself say. While I loved derby I figured being my size was ok for the sport...which it is but if ur an unhealty weight playing derby its a receipe for disaster. At 275 I was so comfortable with "just making it" that I didnt care whether i was getting better or not. I just really wanted to play, however if i wasnt doing what it took to improve I will forever be in one line up. Here I was 9 months in and STILL taking breaks because my back was STILL giving me problems. I was pushing 280!!!! there was a reason i couldnt finish my drills, and a reason i couldnt fit my size 18 jeans......AND IT WASNT MUSCLE!!!!! with my growing weight i'd convinced myself that it was muscle and not fat, that this is 275 was fab and not flab. As I was cutting a slice of strawberry shortcake I had the worst pain in my back. once again i blamed other things for my pain instead of the source itself which was me. Yes I'd gone to the doctor and yes i had my diagnosis but the only way to try and get better was to in fact lose weight. for the first time in my life i didnt want to! i want to be big so the girls could fear me on the track.
I gave up all my "happy foods" to make the change. This meant no Burger King, Hardee's Waffle House, and the Coke I so desparately needed a swig of when dealing with a rough day. I cut my habits cold turkey becuz for me its all or nothing.....there is no in between. This also meant that i couldnt eat after 7:30..........NOT THE EASIET THING TO DO! I had to train my body of what I needed to eat instead of what I wanted to eat. the first week was hard! I watched my mom n sis indulge in a nice plate of HOT Zaxby's........PISSED becuz the food smelled SSSOOOO good, i treated myself to 6 ginger snaps. I know ginger snaps doesnt sound like a decent snack but it was sufficient to my needs that night. As they continued with their fast food habits i continued to eat food that was good from "the neck down" which is whats healthy for my body and not what I wanted to eat. eating the proper portions and drinking 66 ounces of water a day i felt the change in my body and my body thanked me for it. I increased my off-skates workouts and stayed focused. One day at practice Quakes told me that she saw improvement and it made me happy to know someone saw change. I was quicker on my feet, my breaks from drills were reduced becuz I wasnt carrying much belly weight. Quakes told us to set goals for ourselves at each practice and thats what I did. I successfully fulfilled my personal goals each day and each practice.
As time progressed I finally got the one goal that made me the most happiest girl that day, keeping Trick Pony behind me. Not only did I hold a WFTDA skater behind me but i was able to catch up n hit here when I needed! Trick told me that I was getting quicker and better, She confirmed that big girls can really do it all! I'm now 257. I still have weight to lose but if im quicker at this size just imagine what I will be like 20lbs lighter. I will always be a BIG girl, its in my gentic make up. But I'll own my biggest in a healthier way. I think the scariest thing on the track is a big and fast jammer. Its a bitch alone to get someone skinny and fast, when u DO catch them u can knock them down. but if ur big, sturdy, and fast....its a freakishly amazing thing to think about. That said I'm on my way to be a decent jammer....wish me luck!!!!
