It was never a question of if I was coming back to derby, but when? I havent been on a team in about 7 months. These last few months have been the most stressful for me beause of my dads illness. It has caused both of my parents to be totally relient on me. I have been somewhat losing my mind, due to the fact that they have become more a part of my life. Im like a single mother. so am i wrong at this time to start back derby even though i KNOW i cant afford it? The only major difference is the I'll be traveling to Auburn to do so. Which isnt that bad considering the fact that I have done it before on more than one occasion. I just hope my mother understands that i seriously need this to keep my sanity. I also hope that BCR will see the hard work that i am going to put it. I am sooooo nervous to go but I know as long as they see me trying, they wont give me looks that kill.
Right as I decide that im going to practice my radiator goes up in somke. It was a Sunday afternoon and i was on my way to Looneys with the sib to skate and when i turned the car off my car was in a cloud. At that moment all i could do was cry thinking that yet AGAIN i will be set back. I think it bothered me most was my derby idol being a little annoyed with me. I had told her a week before that i was coming to practice and i had every intention to. however when your car is up in smoke and the mechanic tells you it'll be $530 plus to fix.......what could i really do? so i sucked it up and pushed derby back yet again.
after almost a week or two of no skating i pretty much had a nervous brake down. i kinda bitched to helley about how much not skating got to me. SO after Saintly's n Beezy's words, Helley's love I FINALLY got my butt out there when I could. and i didnt feel so shitty about it either. I skated through drills the best i could it was hard after months of no training. All that mattered was that I was there giving it my all.
