I feel like I have been a little vague on details so here's a quickie. I was born and raised in New Orleans and was kicked out by Hurricane Katrina and relocated to Montgomery, AL....THE END well sort of. My life has been pretty boring up until the hurricane. I had friends, I did well in school and I stayed out of trouble.....well I HAD to or else my parents would and i quote "tear my ass up" no matter how grown I was. The most darling thing I did under 21 was sneak out the house with my boyfriend and get a tattoo......very original. After moving to Montgomery I was always "the funny girl from New Orleans." One never knows how they would react when something tragic affects there lives. Yes I was depressed but I also didn't want to be constantly reminded that I lost everything I had due to some ignorant assholes who bombed the levee. I just literally wanted some normality back in my life. So I got a job.....then got laid off which was the most devastating thing you can do to someone who has nothing. From homeless to jobless I went on a search for a job.....150 applications and no job later I decided to enroll in school until I found a job. I could FINALLY meet people and get back to happy, or so I thought.
Going to the University that shall remain nameless, was nothing but a joke. It reminded me of high school. It was a popularity contest/ fashion show and because I didn't have "the look" I didn't mesh well with the kids. I was a 22 year old freshmen trying to get my degree and GET THE FUCK OUT!!! The school bit lasted until my dad took ill. At this point I was a sophomore and my father's health took a turn for the worst and I had to up more funds to help out. I dropped out of college to find a second job, with that second came a little cash and a lot of fat. i had nothing for me. I was making money only to be giving it to the parental units to help them keep their house and dads meds acomin'. Since the stores in Montgomery are for those who only eat crackers n drink diets sodas, I went to food for my relief. That was the only thing I could afford and the only thing that made me happy for the moment. I never was truly happy. Frustrated with lack of money and man candy I decided to TRY and do something about it....go on a 1200 calorie diet. It was ok for a while but never got the results I wanted. Sooooo 1 year, dream job, and 20lbs of fat later I thought I was happy. I had the job I always wanted with the benefits to match. I just KNEW a breast reduction was in the near future. However I just had this emptiness that food COULD not fill.
With all that I had gone through the last few years I have always wanted something to call my own, something that would help me relieve myself of stress. While working at the fabric store, a regular customer of mine told me about Ole School Skate night at the local skating rink. I for one was never coordinated enough to do such a thing. The last time I went skating was on a pair of roller blades when I was fifteen years old, so putting on quads was going to be a task. After weeks of asking me to come to the skate night I finally went. I have never had so much fun in my life, but I fell more than I skated but that was something that I most definitely wanted to try again. some months later October 21, 2009 I went to my first Roller Derby practice and haven't turned back since. Derby has given me confidence, friends, and the body I have wanted for quite sometime.
In the beginning it was mos def a struggle being the fattest girl on the team. I was last for EVERYTHING and I did a lot of self loathing for a while. For the first time in my life I had some thing that I felt my body was made for. and I looked forward to continuing my journey to becoming a derby girl. I was convinced that THIS is what was missing in my life. I'm an aggressive and playful person and derby was perfect for me. Before going to my first practice my doctor had informed me that I was borderline diabetic and obese and I needed to do something to change it and change it fast. So with my skates in hand and my father as my motivation I went to practice and gave it my all. I knew I had a ways to go. I was fat, lazy, and had boobs that would fill the Grand Canyon. However my captain at the time told me that this sport NEEDED bigger girls. "The more meat the better" But what good is it being big if I get winded on the third lap? I finally felt that I fit in somewhere. I am very protective of people I care about, and these girls were going to be my teammates and family. I was their protector. Skating was my passion, and with all the pent up aggression I had I now had some way to release it. Derby was the way, and my body needed to be molded into wrecking ball I'd hoped to be.
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